ENTER: Two men standing outside a café. One of them is freakishly tall, almost of a height with the lamppost, and does not appear to have a face. His skin is paper-white, and his head a vaguely oval-shaped spheroid with no visible openings or hair. He is wearing a cheap suit, baggy on his inhumanly skinny frame. The other man is visibly Caucasian, of average build, and is wearing a purple suit. He is fidgeting. The café is called Thanks a Latte.

PURPLE MAN: This okay?

The TALL MAN's shoulders twitch in what might be a shrug. Wordlessly, the two men cross the street and enter the café. The bell over the door chimes as they walk in. (The TALL MAN almost seems to glide as he moves, but it's an optical illusion; he simply shuffles forward at such a pace as to appear completely still.) There is a short girl-woman at the counter, chatting with a customer; as the TALL MAN hunches over to fit through the door, she looks up at them. The PURPLE MAN marches up to the counter, squinting at her nametag.

PURPLE MAN, in Japanese: Hi. Uh, Helene?
HELENE: Um. Yeah. Hi. Welcome.
PURPLE MAN: I'll have a, uh, latte. That's your trademark, right? I saw the sign.

HELENE's face twists into a complicated expression.

HELENE, grudgingly: Yes.
PURPLE MAN, blithely, Great. Wonderful. One latte for me, and... uh...

He turns to look at the TALL MAN, who is folding himself into an armchair.

PURPLE MAN, in English: How many shots?

The TALL MAN holds up his long, white hands. His palm is unlined.

PURPLE MAN, turning back to HELENE, switching back to Japanese: He'll have ten espresso shots.

The PURPLE MAN looks at the menu behind the counter.

PURPLE MAN: And I'll have a, uh, slice of Black Forest.

He retreats to the table and sits down opposite the TALL MAN.

PURPLE MAN, in English: How was the flight over?

The TALL MAN shrugs. He has produced a writing-pad from nowhere and his pale, spidery hand blurs as it scritches over the paper. His handwriting is blocky and in all-caps.

TALL MAN: CRAMPED
PURPLE MAN: Should've put you in first class. The cabins there have more space.
TALL MAN: DID U TAKE FIRST CLASS
PURPLE MAN: Well, no. That would have been too flashy.
TALL MAN: AND WEARING PURPLE SUITS ISNT FLASHY
PURPLE MAN: I like purple. 'Sides, talking the stewardesses into putting me in first class would have been an indiscretion too far.

He clears his throat as HELENE approaches their table and places two cups onto the table, accompanied by a slice of Black Forest cake. The TALL MAN twitches.

PURPLE MAN: What? My treat.
TALL MAN: WE R IN PUBLIC
PURPLE MAN: Just eat it, Jesus. You're too skinny.

The TALL MAN sticks his straw into his cup of ultra-strong espresso and takes a sip, the liquid disappearing up the straw into the featureless void of his face. The PURPLE MAN stirs his latte.

PURPLE MAN: So, how's the hunt going?
TALL MAN: :(
PURPLE MAN: Shit, how hard can it be to find a huge gaijin?
TALL MAN: HE CANT HIDE 4EVER
PURPLE MAN: Yeah.

They settle into a companionable silence. The TALL MAN doodles stick figures on his writing pad as the PURPLE MAN squints at a gaggle of chattering teenage girls in the corner.

PURPLE MAN: Still, you've an easier job than me.
TALL MAN: THATS BC UR QUIRK IS MORE USEFUL
PURPLE MAN: Fuck off.
TALL MAN: :)

The TALL MAN carves off a large chunk of the cake and holds it in front of his face. Abruptly, the blank void of his face splits in half, revealing a gaping maw that the cake-chunk then disappears into.

PURPLE MAN: Anyway. How's this place, huh?
TALL MAN: I PRFR THE FOREST
PURPLE MAN: Heh. I bet you do. Must be why you haven't found him yet.

In between devouring the final chunk of cake, the TALL MAN tilts his head.

PURPLE MAN, quickly: No offense meant. Just trying to invite you to come with me into Kyoto's dark underbelly. I need someone who can make people throw up.
TALL MAN: UR RANGE > MY RANGE
PURPLE MAN: Okay, well, I need someone intimidating to back me up.
TALL MAN: ME?? INTIMIDATING??
PURPLE MAN: Have you seen yourself?
TALL MAN: NO
PURPLE MAN: Well, you're intimidating. Trust me.
TALL MAN: ILL THINK ABT IT
PURPLE MAN: You do that. Same time next week?
TALL MAN: SAME TIME NEXT WEEK

They pay and leave.