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ENTER: Two men standing outside a café. One of them is freakishly tall, almost of a height with the lamppost, and does not appear to have a face. His skin is paper-white, and his head a vaguely oval-shaped spheroid with no visible openings or hair. He is wearing a cheap suit, baggy on his inhumanly skinny frame. The other man is visibly Caucasian, of average build, and is wearing a purple suit. He is fidgeting. The café is called Thanks a Latte.\r\n\r\nPURPLE MAN: This okay?\r\n\r\nThe TALL MAN's shoulders twitch in what might be a shrug. Wordlessly, the two men cross the street and enter the café. The bell over the door chimes as they walk in. (The TALL MAN almost seems to glide as he moves, but it's an optical illusion; he simply shuffles forward at such a pace as to appear completely still.) There is a short girl-woman at the counter, chatting with a customer; as the TALL MAN hunches over to fit through the door, she looks up at them. The PURPLE MAN marches up to the counter, squinting at her nametag.\r\n\r\nPURPLE MAN, in Japanese: Hi. Uh, Helene?\r\nHELENE: Um. Yeah. Hi. Welcome.\r\nPURPLE MAN: I'll have a, uh, latte. That's your trademark, right? I saw the sign.\r\n\r\nHELENE's face twists into a complicated expression.\r\n\r\nHELENE, grudgingly: Yes.\r\nPURPLE MAN, blithely, Great. Wonderful. One latte for me, and... uh...\r\n\r\nHe turns to look at the TALL MAN, who is folding himself into an armchair.\r\n\r\nPURPLE MAN, in English: How many shots?\r\n\r\nThe TALL MAN holds up his long, white hands. His palm is unlined.\r\n\r\nPURPLE MAN, turning back to HELENE, switching back to Japanese: He'll have ten espresso shots.\r\n\r\nThe PURPLE MAN looks at the menu behind the counter.\r\n\r\nPURPLE MAN: And I'll have a, uh, slice of Black Forest.\r\n\r\nHe retreats to the table and sits down opposite the TALL MAN.\r\n\r\nPURPLE MAN, in English: How was the flight over?\r\n\r\nThe TALL MAN shrugs. He has produced a writing-pad from nowhere and his pale, spidery hand blurs as it scritches over the paper. His handwriting is blocky and in all-caps.\r\n\r\nTALL MAN: CRAMPED\r\nPURPLE MAN: Should've put you in first class. The cabins there have more space.\r\nTALL MAN: DID U TAKE FIRST CLASS\r\nPURPLE MAN: Well, no. That would have been too flashy.\r\nTALL MAN: AND WEARING PURPLE SUITS ISNT FLASHY\r\nPURPLE MAN: I like purple. 'Sides, talking the stewardesses into putting me in first class would have been an indiscretion too far.\r\n\r\nHe clears his throat as HELENE approaches their table and places two cups onto the table, accompanied by a slice of Black Forest cake. The TALL MAN twitches.\r\n\r\nPURPLE MAN: What? My treat.\r\nTALL MAN: WE R IN PUBLIC\r\nPURPLE MAN: Just eat it, Jesus. You're too skinny.\r\n\r\nThe TALL MAN sticks his straw into his cup of ultra-strong espresso and takes a sip, the liquid disappearing up the straw into the featureless void of his face. The PURPLE MAN stirs his latte.\r\n\r\nPURPLE MAN: So, how's the hunt going?\r\nTALL MAN: :(\r\nPURPLE MAN: Shit, how hard can it be to find a huge gaijin?\r\nTALL MAN: HE CANT HIDE 4EVER\r\nPURPLE MAN: Yeah.\r\n\r\nThey settle into a companionable silence. The TALL MAN doodles stick figures on his writing pad as the PURPLE MAN squints at a gaggle of chattering teenage girls in the corner.\r\n\r\nPURPLE MAN: Still, you've an easier job than me.\r\nTALL MAN: THATS BC UR QUIRK IS MORE USEFUL\r\nPURPLE MAN: Fuck off.\r\nTALL MAN: :)\r\n\r\nThe TALL MAN carves off a large chunk of the cake and holds it in front of his face. Abruptly, the blank void of his face splits in half, revealing a gaping maw that the cake-chunk then disappears into.\r\n\r\nPURPLE MAN: Anyway. How's this place, huh?\r\nTALL MAN: I PRFR THE FOREST\r\nPURPLE MAN: Heh. I bet you do. Must be why you haven't found him yet.\r\n\r\nIn between devouring the final chunk of cake, the TALL MAN tilts his head.\r\n\r\nPURPLE MAN, quickly: No offense meant. Just trying to invite you to come with me into Kyoto's dark underbelly. I need someone who can make people throw up.\r\nTALL MAN: UR RANGE > MY RANGE\r\nPURPLE MAN: Okay, well, I need someone intimidating to back me up.\r\nTALL MAN: ME?? INTIMIDATING??\r\nPURPLE MAN: Have you seen yourself?\r\nTALL MAN: NO\r\nPURPLE MAN: Well, you're intimidating. Trust me.\r\nTALL MAN: ILL THINK ABT IT\r\nPURPLE MAN: You do that. Same time next week?\r\nTALL MAN: SAME TIME NEXT WEEK\r\n\r\nThey pay and leave.
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