“I can’t believe I hit the motherload this year!” Kristy excitedly spoke to herself in a hushed tone as she gingerly made her way down the chute of a chimney. Every year around Christmas time Kristy would stake out a different wealthy neighborhood, looking for an easy target to steal from and this year she hit the motherload. The small estate she was in the process of plundering had nearly every inch of it plastered in tacky festive decorations; Christmas lights hung from the roof and accented each window, wreaths were placed on every door, a Christmas tree for nearly every room, ceramic decorations littered every shelf and ledge, and the yard was a landmine of various Christmas decor. But on top of all of that, placed around the largest Christmas tree in the house, sat dozens and dozens of presents. Better yet, Kristy never saw anyone home! It was too good to be true!

“Just a little more…” Kristy slowly shuffled her feet down the chimney, using the uneven layering of bricks as footholds as she clambered down the chimney. It was nearly pitch black with only the soft glow of the moon that leaked in from above her that assisted her descent down. Eventually her right foot touched solid ground between a pile of unburnt firewood followed by the other. “Now that wasn’t so-” 

*CLICK* All at once Kristy’s break in turned to chaos. A recording of children’s laughter played as a spring shot down from the front of the chimney opening holding a note. ‘Got you this time -J.F. ♥’ A large light-blue rune, reminiscent of a snowflake, lit up underneath Kristy before she was blinded by a flash of white light. Her breasts exploded in size, the sudden and violent force throwing her into the back wall of the chimney. The rapidly swelling mass attached to her chest filled the opening of the chimney, pinning her entire body against the ashy brick wall and trapping her arms. With nowhere else to go her breasts began spilling into the living room, knocking an assortment of decorations to the ground with a clatter as her sensitive boobs dragged themselves over a scratchy rug. Her breasts bumped into presents and furniture while the sharp branches of the Christmas tree poked and prodded her inappropriately. Her areola pushed up against the coffee table and as her swollen nipple, erect from the exposure to the chilly air, bumped into a snowglobe and gently pushed it over the edge causing the sound of shattering glass to ring out through the small estate.

-----------------------------

*KSSSHHHHK* Jack awoke in a startle as the sound of glass shattering off in the distance echoed off the walls. “Was that…?” Jack scurried free from his blankets, slipped his feet into a pair of fuzzy slippers before sprinting down the halls. “I can’t believe it! I finally caught that fat bas- tard… What the actual fuck?” Jack turned the corner to the living room and flicked the light on only to see two unimaginably gargantuan boobs jutting out of his chimney and making a mess of everything.

“Get me out!” The muffled cries of a woman cried out. “I can’t move!”

Jack, ignoring the woman, began pacing back and forth in his partially destroyed living room. “No, no, no, no! This can’t be I- I planned all year for this!” He stopped in his tracks and twirled to face the wall of breasts taking up a good portion of the room. “Who are you and what are you doing in my chimney?”

“What!?” The woman’s muffled voice shouted. “That doesn’t matter right now! I’m stuck and I can’t move at all!”

Jack let out an annoyed sigh and rolled his eyes. “You can have it your way but,” he began walking towards the exit of the living room with loud exaggerated steps, “You won’t be getting any help with getting free from me.”

“Ugh, fine! My name's Kristy.”

Jack turned on his heel and made his way back towards the pile of tits. “Kristy. What a lovely name however, what in god's name are you doing in my chimney?”

“Does it matter!? Just get me out of here!”

Jack let out a long and exaggerated sigh. “Well you see Kristy, it kind of does. See, people call me Jack Fraust and you ruined what had to be my best plan yet of catching Santa Claus.”

“Santa?” Jack could hear a muffled chuckle from behind the wall. “Dude you sound like you’re in your mid thirties and you still believe in Santa.”

“Why wouldn’t I?! He and I have been rivals for centuries and yet he always escapes my clutch!”

“Okay… That’s nice and all but could we talk about this after you get me out?”

Jack walked up the wall next to the chimney's opening and pressed the side of his face up against the wall. “My plan was perfect! Make the most jolly and festive house on this side of the hemisphere and when ‘Ol Saint Nick comes down my chimney all that milk he’s drank is gonna multiply thanks to my magic spell I placed on the chimney. His fat belly would blow up like a balloon and trap him inside the chimney, right into my icey clutches!” An awkward silence hung in the air. “... Or he’d burst from all the milk. Either way I get what I want. But,” Jack looked down at the pinched skin of Kristy’s massive milk filled mammaries, “someone had to ruin it!” He stood up straight from the wall, turned so he was facing the side of Kristy’s breast and leaned on it with his elbow.

“Agh~” Kristy squealed as the sudden added weight on her teat caused a stream of milk to spray from her engorged nipple. “Please stop!~ I- I’m sorry for ruining your plans~ If you let me go I’ll- I’ll help you catch Santa~” Kristy tried to squirm despite being pinned but no matter how much she tried she found she could barely move an inch. “Just please stop!~ It’s too much!~”

“No. That won’t do.” Jack sighed again and hoisted himself off of Kristy’s water bed of a breast. “My rune let off enough magic that Santa surely knows what’s up. Plus, your sofa sized tits surely got us on the naughty list.”

“Does that mean you can get me out now? Jack?”

“Hmm… I have a better idea.” Jack went about the living room muttering to himself as he collected various Christmas decor from around the living room. He unwrapped some ribbon from the Christmas tree and draped it behind his neck, moved some smaller presents out of the way from the larger ones in the back, and grabbed the two heaviest presents he could find with a groan. “Man, these sure are heavy!” He carried that all over to Kristy’s plump breasts and went to work. He placed the presents down and grabbed the ribbon from his neck before tying two festive bows onto Kristy’s nipples and giving them a tight pull at the ends to make it nice and tight.

“Hey!~ What are you doing?~ That hurts!~” Kristy winced as ribbon dug into the skin where her nipples met her areola. And despite her protests she didn’t receive an answer. Instead one after another a great weight was placed on top of both of her tits. The new pressure on her boobs tried to force the milk inside of her breasts free but it wasn’t possible with her nipples painfully tied shut.

“That’s for ruining my plans! Don’t worry though, I’ll leave an anonymous tip to the police so they know to come and getcha. I don't know if they can help with your breasts but they surely can help with your proclivity for thievery… Anyways, stay frosty!”

“Wait!~ You can’t be serious!~” Kristy shouted, unaware that Jack had already disappeared into a puff of snow. “Jack!~ Jack?~... Goddamnit~”