Suisei hung her coat on a hook and picked up her grocery bags to ferry them off to the kitchen. Passing by Aqua's room, she decided to stop and check in, though, and set them beside the door, walking in without knocking, as usual. It was quiet outside, so she wasn't streaming, probably sleeping or — 

Her chair was empty. The monitor was still on, asking if one'd like to keep spectating or requeue. Her relatively new keyboard, still shining with red neon light, smelled strongly of apple juice, the rest of which was splattered across the desk, beside a tall glass laying on its side. Her heart racing, Suisei heard a faint noise to the left — and there she was, curled up in a corner. Sobbing and cutting. Again.

Letting out a gasp, Sui got to Aqua in two jumps, hit her up the head and wrestled the awful thing from her hands. A folding pocket knife. Where did the stupid girl even get one? Suisei casually threw it against a wall, and it made a notch in the wallpaper. Aqua made an "uuuuu"-sounding noise and feebly reached for it, before bursting into tears. "G-give it back...", she mumbled. "I want... my... I want back..." Suisei hugged her tight and let her stay like that for a while, before standing up and pulling her by the wrist. "Come. You need help."

You could describe it as dragging, but Aqua was so physically frail that all resistance she could muster was trying to pull her arm out of Suisei's hand on their walk to the kitchen. Suisei shoved the dirty dishes out of the way, grabbed Aqua's hands from the back, and carefully washed the cuts under cold water. Dressing the wounds was next. The first aid kit was on the fridge, out of Aqua's reach but always at hand. 

Cotton swabs to put on some iodine — of course there were better disinfectants, but iodine stung, and it needed to sting. Where a normal adult would suck air through their teeth, Aqua started crying like a baby when a drop of brown liquid touched her damaged flesh. Mmmmm. Best not to get distracted. Bandages were at hand, but scissors were in Suisei's bag, and she had to go grab them. That was a bit of a downside to living with Aqua, but Suisei treated it as just another challenge to consider. Nothing sharp where she could reach, nothing dangerous. No scissors, no needles, no forks. No razors — you don't know how much of an oxymoron the phrase "safety razor" is, until you see for yourself. Certainly no knives.  

Where did she get the knife? Did Suisei forget one in her old bags? An old coat? Failed to triple-check, failed to account for Aqua ruffling through the clothes in the wardrobe, looking for a snack, finding something more... Stupid, stupid, stupid, worthless moron, murderer, imbecile, sadistic bastard, torturer, could have just handed her over the knife yourself and told her to have a go at it, same result, should have been you, should... Sidetracked again! She finished tying the bandages, still having her sit on her lap, and started idly playing with Aqua's twintail. "So. Tell me what happened, and I probably won't get mad."

Aqua has never been particularly eloquent, and definitely not when put on the spot like that after a nervous breakdown. This part didn't really have a goal other than making her more nervous — Sui already guessed the gist anyway. Went to the kitchen to pour a glass of apple juice, took it back to the room, forgot about it, knocked it over and fried her new keyboard in the middle of a match, felt so awful that she took out a knife and started cutting. Aqua never said "cutting" or "harming" or "hurting", it was always euphemistic, just "that" and "need". She has been stuttering and mumbling about the situation for a few minutes before Suisei angrily interrupted her. "Is that it? A keyboard? You did this to yourself over a fucking keyboard?"

No, obviously not. That was fairly obvious, but if Aqua ever had a spine to object here, she certainly has long since lost it, and Suisei made a point out of dismissing the valid underlying concern. The truth is, Aqua has always been clumsy, and it didn't help that her right forearm had the... thing. Vertical line. Along, not across like all the others. That one was a serious attempt. Nothing made Suisei more angry at herself than this gnarly reminder of failure as a caretaker. They almost lost each other! The very thought was not actually scary, it was more of a void. She knew what she would do if that were to ever happen, she didn't believe in beautiful suicides. She would be gone from this world immediately, as little of her body left as possible. Trains get ever swifter these days. 

Anyway. Aqua's right hand will never fully regain its mobility, which is not going to help if you're angry at yourself, angry at your own hands, trying to calm down... How do you explain this rationally? How can a fish explain water to you? Pain is calming, that's all there is to it. Apparently, for some people, this extends to feeling it and not causing. Sui was still not going to help Aqua get comfortable with that fact.

"A keyboard? You do this to yourself over, what, fifty thousand yen? Pocket change? You broke it and you thought, what, bleeding on it would help?"

"No, it's not.. I was... I felt bad... I thought that... It was..." Aqua was losing words at an alarming rate and probably needed some nudging in the right direction. 

"You broke it and needed to feel pain?"

Aqua's face brightened. "Yes! No, w-wait. No, not really, yes."

"You're utterly helpless", Suisei said patronizingly. "You want someone to hurt you? (No, of course that's not what Aqua said.) Here, let me help you with that." She unceremoniously shoved her off her lap at first, then pulled her across. Bottom up, face down. She pulled up Aqua's skirt in one swift motion, then yanked her panties down with another. Last thing left was pulling off the fingerless glove off her right hand. She would never deny herself the pleasure of skin on skin contact. "There." She brought her palm down, enjoying the yelp and the red handprint, the first of today's evening.

Suisei was not on speaking terms on her mother, and her go-to way to explain the situation to others was "You can only tolerate someone you thought loved you hitting you so many times, you know." This was an intentionally misleading non-answer. In reality, her mother has never hit her. Not once. She didn't really care enough for that, but the indifference was not the key factor. Suisei had toys, from time to time, expensive American dolls, but she kept breaking them, her mother said, and so they went in the garbage, and she got bought new dolls like a proper girl her age. That's not how Suisei saw the situation, though. She didn't break anything, the toys came in wrong, and she changed them to better suit herself, yet her little creations got taken away from her, and every time a piece of her got lost with them. 

If the prettiest toy, the most wonderful doll, her most beautiful creation were to ever get taken away from her, that would be it, there would be nothing left of her. Still, it was playtime for now. Aqua hated it, as always, bawling her eyes out, mumbling apologies. Suisei was kind of ranting automatically, scolding her while slapping her delicious, wonderfully soft behind. She was a bit envious of her doll, who ate whatever she wanted (though she generally ate very little) only for maintain this wonderfully soft chubbyness, while Suisei herself had to obey a strict diet regimen. "Why does it have to be like that every time? Why do I have to treat you like a baby? Are you a baby or an adult? Huh? A baby or an adult?" 

"A-adult", Aqua quietly said in response.

"What?"

"Adult, Sui-chan! Treat me like an adult... please... not baby!" She would never guess the right answer, because the answers will change. Sui smiled, unglued Aqua's sweaty thighs from her lap and stood up. "Well then. Come. Let's do some adult things, then."

Together they walked to Suisei's room, hands interlocked, to her bed, where Suisei pushed her over and went to the wardrobe. She glanced over her neck and saw Aqua on her back spreading her legs. "And what is it that you think we're going to do on my bed, Aqua-chan?" she said condescendingly.

"Adult things? You said... I thought... my reward? May I have my reward?"

Suisei's eyes flashed with anger (fairly basic acting trick) and she did a sort of horizontal kabedon, both of her arms to the sides of Aqua's neck, one knee hear her wonderful soft hips. "And what exactly did you do today that made you think you deserve a reward? Don't piss me off any more than you already have."

"Sui-chan hit my butt for what I did, so I thought... Sui-chan... would... now..." The tiny shreds of confidence evaporated from Aqua's voice, replaced with fear. Suisei raised her right palm and put it right up to Aqua's face. "Sui-chan hit my butt!" she said in a mocking voice. "Not. What. Happened here. You hit me. Look how my hand looks like now! You did this! Do you have any idea how much it hurts?" This wasn't a lie, for once, it did genuinely hurt and turned bright red. It would be smarter to use a glove, but Sui loved the feel of Aqua's skin too much for her own good. "You did this to me! Why do you keep hurting me like that? Do you enjoy it so much? Do you enjoy the feeling of hurting other people? People that love you?" Aqua shut her eyes and shook her head to the sides vigorously. "Then you should behave like an adult you said you were and volunteer to take an adult's punishment properly. Turn over."

Suisei stood up from the bed, went back to the wardrobe, and took out her belt from the top shelf. Nice, high quality soft leather. She didn't really wear clothing that needed one, it was bought for one specific purpose. She folded it over and pulled from both ends, making a nice whipcrack-like sound. An actual whip would be a bit too much, even if she did consider getting her hands on one once or twice. 

When she turned back, Aqua was already in position. Her bottom was up in the air, and she buried her face in a pillow to muffle herself. She, once again, left the privilege of undressing the doll up to Suisei, which she appreciated and took advantage of immediately. The hors d'oeuvres in the kitchen was tasty, but this was the main course, and she was positively starving. The wardrobe had a large mirror on it, which she, the first few times, hoped would be useful to be able to see Aqua's facial expressions at the same time, but it didn't really work out — she did see her own face, though, and her eyes had a spark of genuine yellowish glee. "Bad girl." she said coldly. 

She didn't bother with any actual scolding now, just focusing on laying down criss-crossing red stripes, sometimes putting them right on top of each other, getting genuine yells of pain that couldn't be muffled as easily. Aqua played her role very well, holding out like a little tin soldier, though she thrashed around so much that one of her fresh wounds reopened and the white bandage became crimson. You couldn't find a better cure for boredom if you tried. She didn't pause, only outright stopped when she went out of breath. Her work was beautiful. Blindingly-pale-turning-pink canvas, a palette of reds and some purples already, the sound, the smell... it was less of a painting and more of a multimedia installment, really. No one appreciates her talent. She tossed the belt aside, sat down on the bed and hugged Aqua tight. "There, there. I'm not mad at you any more. It's okay. It will all be alright." It was hard to tell whose heart was racing harder. She turned Aqua over on her back, which obviously resulted in yet another yelp and more whining — her butt would hurt to sit down on for at least another day, and the fact that she had a stream scheduled for tomorrow morning didn't escape her consideration. 

Suisei purposefully maintained an odd, asymmetrical fingernail length, painting them different colors as well, claiming it was the latest Harajuku fashion, and some of the girls in her asylum of an idol group took up after her. In reality, it was an elaborate facade just so she could keep fingernails on some of the fingers short. Her hand traced the outline of Aqua's belly, made a circle around her navel and then went steadily downwards, right between her thighs. The girl was expecting a reward, and she earned it, all things considered. 

Aqua wasn't that hard to get to the peak. She was quiet and timid, as always, but her hyperventilating breathing got shallower until she stopped breathing for a little, then exhaled and laid there for a while with a stupid grin on her face. All in all, they had a fairly happy existence together. "There, there.", said Sui. "See? Sorry I had to help you do this to yourself. You won't try to injure yourself ever again, right?" Aqua again shut her teary eyes and shook her head from side to side. They both knew it was a lie and both wish it weren't. "You know how much I hate seeing you in pain." That, of course, was also a lie, like most thing Suisei said, as she lied basically out of habit nowadays. Of course she didn't hate it. Could you name a sight more wonderful than Aqua being hurt? What she hated was letting anyone else do it.