-“How did you NOT know the place was Swap Casino? They’ve been playing the same commercial since the state legalized it. There’s literally a sign flashing out front! You’d’ve had to’ve sign a waiver, for godssake.”

-“You know me, my man: I’m more about reading people than pamphlets-”

-“Dumb.”

-“-and even still I made out like a bandit. Shame I couldn’t swap my gender back, but I chased my losses and won most of it back. And now I’m thinkin’, I’m thinkin’ that in swap poker, whoever walks out with the hottest bod is the real winner.”

-“I mean, you’re cute, but that sounds like an excus-”

-“Now you’re getting it, big guy. How long do you think ’til I’m back to being good ol’ Marv again?”

-“Well, I-”

-“Don’t answer that. I don’t know swapping, but I know how to gamble. I Go back to the casino next week, win early and cash out asap to grab the largest pair of bazoingas I can get my hands on, and anyone with eyes will be so distracted that I’ll be swimming in chips- enough to buy TWO penises if I wanted to!”

-“So… that doesn’t explain why you’re here naked. And why you were still in your old clothes, but clearly wearing panties. Did you go in with those?” 

-“Lucky briefs, you wouldn’t understand. And since my iconic suit won’t be fitting right, I was hoping you could spot me for some tops. Cute ones. Oooh, and a cocktail dress! Oh, yeah, it’s all comin’ together.” 

-“...okay.”