You walk to Suisei’s place with bags of groceries in your hands. It’s 8pm, you went straight to the supermarket after work and waited a bit for the store employee to put the price tag on products that would expire the next day. You had to get the healthiest ingredients for a meal while considering Suisei’s tastebuds that is similar to that of a child, and it could be expensive if not for the blessed evening discount and your vast repertoire of healthy-yet-delicious dishes to cook. An idol’s meals are thoroughly regulated, especially for Suisei who doubled as a streamer. We don’t want our dear shooting star to collapse mid-stream, do we? You give three knocks to the apartment door. 

“Sui-chan, you still awake?”

No answer.

After painstakingly trying to ruffle through your pockets for the spare key with plastic bag handles around your fingers, you finally find your key and unlock the door. The lights are on and no sound can be heard from her streaming room. She might be asleep. However, it’s pretty unusual for her to sleep this early, maybe there’s a morning stream she doesn’t want to be late for?

You have more questions than your exhausted brain is willing to process, so you decided you will just check on her right after taking the groceries to the kitchen. Well, that was the plan, until you see Suisei in the dining room, head slumped on the table. You hurry to her side, worried that she might have fallen unconscious from poisoned food or something, some psycho might have found out she has a boyfriend and tried to take you out. 

Taking a closer look, you see Suisei was conscious, albeit shaking visibly. You carefully put your hand on her shoulder, checking if she is okay. Much to your surprise, she immediately slapped your hand away.

“DON’T TOUCH ME”

You see her face for the first time since you went in, her eyes still wet from tears. You both stare at each other for a while before she averts her gaze and shields her teary eyes with her hand. 

“I’m …I’m disgusting. I can’t continue as an idol anymore. Please don’t look at me…”

You can’t help but rush in and hug her, you always had a soft spot for girls in distress, after all. Suisei initally tried to push away, but eventually accepted the embrace and cried on your shoulder. While patting her head and telling her everything is okay, you looked around for anything that may have caused all this. Some pregnancy test kit, official letter from cover, anything. Yet you couldn’t find anything of note but a plastic glass with faint sweet smell on the table. Asking Suisei herself might be the best way to get the information out. 

“What’s wrong, what happened?”

“No. There’s no way I can tell you. You’re definitely going to hate me for this.”

 You put your hands on her cheek and stared right through her eyes. 

“Suisei, trust me. Whatever happened, I would still love you. Please tell me, at the very least it would take the weight off your heart.”

Suisei reluctantly agree and started her story. 

“So, you see… This afternoon I had a collab with Coco, she was talking about how much she missed the burgers in America, so I ordered one for lunch” 

Suisei paused for a while to gather herself. Is this about the antis going to her chat and spamming her? You swear you’re going to go and beat the shit out of each and every one of them.

“Then, then… I decided to go order some salad for dinner. I swear I was just scrolling through the salad section. But then there was an ad for the sundae.”

“The sundae?”

“Yeah, the Baskin Robbins’ Oreo Sundae, I read all the nutrition fact, I knew damn well that I shouldn’t have ordered it…”

“But you ordered it anyway.”

Suisei nods and buries her head on your chest, you can feel the second round of tears coming out. The regret must be too great for her to bear. You glance at the pristine clean plastic container on the dining table.

“And you ate it all.”

“…yeah.”

“All 930 calories of it.”

“Mhm.”

“All while knowing it is 52 percent carbohydrate.”

“…”

“And has 140% of your daily value for fat.”

“I DO, I DO KNOW IT’S VERY BAD AND UNHEALTHY FOR ME, OKAY. I JUST COULDN’T RESIST. I SAW A PICTURE OF MOONA WITH ONE OF THEM AND CAN’T STOP THINKING OF THE SUGARY GOODNESS, THE SWEET CHOCOLATE TASTE, THE SOFT, MELTY ICE CREAM ON MY MOUTH. I KNOW I AM A DISGUSTING PERSON WHO CAN’T EVEN STOP HERSELF.”

Suisei’s screams fill the apartment. Good. Good. Just let your heart out.

“But …but …you still love me right, Anon?”

Suisei looks at you with hope. You smile at her.

“Get off me you disgusting pig.”

You push her away from you. This disgusting piece of filth dares to get her hands on you? The thought of you ever agreeing to be her boyfriend makes you sick to the stomach. You turn away and walk to the door. Suisei stares at you from the floor with mouth agape.

“ANON, YOU SAID YOU WOULD STILL LOVE ME NO MATTER WHAT”

“I LOVED THE CUTE IDOL HOSHIMACHI SUISEI, NOT THIS GLUTTONOUS PIECE OF FILTH YOU’VE BECOME. WE’RE OVER, DON’T YOU DARE TRY TO CONTACT ME EVER AGAIN.”

“ANON, NO!”

You swing the door open for the last time, unbelievable. You are just steps away from the outside world when a sharp pain assails your back. You see a sliver of the metal edge protuding through your chest before falling forward from the sheer force of an axe being thrown to your back.

“I’m sorry, Anon. I had to… I can’t leave witness roaming free. The world must not know the idol Hoshimachi Suisei had eaten an entire portion of Baskin Robbins’ Oreo Sundae by herself.”

Suisei picks up the axe from your bloodied back and raises it high, aiming for your neck. The last thing you see is her salivating from seeing your mangled flesh. 

Ah…

You hope she at least will make a good meal out of you.

CLANG.